November month of Thanks

This Thanksgiving, rather than focusing on the turkey, the in-laws or the obnoxious behavior of your guests, focus on what reallycounts: your relationships and the opportunity you have to spend time together

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are!" is the core of the Etiquette is 4 me philosophy.

If you follow these tips, you are sure to get through the meal with confidence and ease. Remember the following points. (For parents, remember you are the example for your children):

- Don’t try to solve other people’s problems. A statement or opinion does not necessarily require a response nor is it a request for advice. Unless someone specifically asks for advice, don’t give it. ask yourself, "Is the dinner table the time to deal with problems?" The answer is no.

- You can’t control other people’s actions, only your own (and your children*). If a member of your family has a reputation for being annoying or obnoxious, don’t jump in the swamp with the alligators. Perpetuating rudeness or bad behavior by being rude back solves nothing and doesn’t set a good example for your children. Sometimes, it is a good idea to take a look in the mirror and make sure your own behavior is above reproach.

- Controversial subjects are best avoided if they are going to lead to arguments. Try to keep things light and celebratory. Remember that a sense of humor is your best asset when the going gets tough.

- *Coach your children beforehand as to the behavior you expect and what you want them to do
, such as helping with chores, dinner, babysitting, etc. Teach them visiting and table manners.

And above all else, keep a sense of gratitude and be thankful.

To Express Gratitude
Smile and say thank you.
Tell a loved one you love them.
Hug a friend.
Write thank you notes.
Visit a shut-in or someone in the hospital.
Call a friend, just to say hello.
Spend time with an elderly person.
Tell your boss/workers you appreciate his or her support

Remember to thank all who make your life easy - babysitters, cleaners, doctors, mail man, friends, parents. Just say "Thank you! You are very important in my life!"


14 Table Manners Every Child Should Know


The following is a list of table manners
that your child should have a good grasp of
by age six:


* Wash their hands and face before sitting
down to the table.
* Sit down in their proper seat and put their
napkin in their lap.
* Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated
and has been served. Many families wait until an adult
gives permission to start eating.
* Stay seated in their seats without wiggling
in their chairs, going under the table, or
getting up and down.
* Say, "Excuse Me," and ask permission to leave
the table.
* Elbows do not belong on the table.
* Mouths should stay closed while chewing and
pieces should be bite sized.
* "May I please" and "Thank you" should be used when
children would like food. They should never reach across the
table.
* Participate in the conversation during dinner and
no interruptions when other people are talking.
* Slurping, burping, squealing, singing, humming are
all sounds that are not to be made at the table.
* It is never kind or polite to make negative
comments about what is being served for dinner.
* Before getting up at the end of the meal say,
"May I please be excused?"
* Ask if adults would like them to clear their
dinner plate.
* Thank the cook.

Preparing children for adulthood starts the moment
the baby is placed in the arms of the mother.
Teaching children to use good table manners is a
wonderful gift that will serve them well throughout
their entire lives. Parents will be proud that
their children are using the good manners that
they have taught them, and more importantly
children will be polished and refined and capable
of being comfortable in any situation.

Thanks to my dear friends and teachers Louise Fox and Elena Neitlich

Best,
Eliana Bonati
Etiquetteis4me.com
Thanks for visiting!

Kindness begins with Me

It is a good coat for our Utah Manners Month:

Young women, you are changing the world by centering your life on Jesus Christ, and you are “becoming what He wants you to be” (see “Guardians of Virtue, Strength of Youth Media 2011: We Believe”).Thank you for your benevolent lives: for including those who may be different; for your kindness to your peers, the elderly, your family, and little children; for being neighbors to those who are lonely and those who have challenges and heartache. Through your benevolence, you are “pointing others to the Savior’s life” (see “Guardians of Virtue”). Thank you for remembering “kindness begins with me.”

Kindness Begins with Me

Mary N. Cook First Counselor of the General Young Women Presidency

Manners are stronger than laws. Thomas Carlyle

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

                                                                                               Anonymous

Good Manners = $319 million

Here is a quick etiquette story that I hope
will put a smile on your face....
 
Did you hear about how good manners this week
led to the purchase of a $319 million winning 
lottery ticket -- and how bad manners caused 
someone else to lose out?
 
The man who eventually bought the ticket was
in line, and reached down to buy a Snickers bar.
When he did, the person behind him cut in front
of him, and bought a lottery ticket first.
 
The eventual winner didn't complain when the
other person cut in front of him. He graciously
let him go ahead of him.
 
And he was rewarded in a big way. By waiting
just one spot, he ended up with the winning 
ticket, worth $319 million. i
So, if anyone ever tells you that etiquette isn't
worth anything, you can reply that good etiquette
is hundreds of millions of dollars, and
bad manners can cost just as much.(etiquette moms)

UTAH MANNERS MONTH

The group of children from my Etiquette Class went last month to visit our Governor Gary R. Herbert in Utah to request to have a Good Manners Month in Utah.
He signed the Proclamation a few weeks ago and April will be "The Manners Month in Utah!"
We are promoting 3 contests that will reward everyone for their good Manners, you can help by being a participant or just sharing with your friends!
You can find out all about the contests @
www.etiquetteis4me.com  or 
http://utah-goodmanners.weebly.com/

This will be a wonderful month! Thank you friends, pass it on!

The gift of good manners and respect

My goal is to help parents and  children to achieve one of the most powerful gifts - The gift of good manners and  respect.
Children and adults with great good manners have a advantage over those who do not. They make friends easier, get along better with their siblings, parents, teachers, and in a long perspective will be much better employees and spouses.
I can affirm this because I can see this in my own life.
 My youngest son - Bryan, another day said "Mom, I love you, I am so grateful to have you as my mother!"  Very happy to hear that, I ask him, why? "You are great, you teach me all the good manner things and guess what? Because of this I really have more friends!"
It was so good to hear this from my son, because I start everything because of them - my children! And because it is something we start to lose in our society, I decide to go on and try to pass it on to my friends, and why not, for you? 

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better or happier

First of all in your own home.
Give love to your children,
to your wife or husband.
Let no one ever come to you without
leaving better or happier.
Be the living expression
of God’s kindness;
kindness in your face,
kindness in your eyes,
kindness in your smile,
kindness in your warm greeting.
~ Mother Teresa

How one person can change the life of another

The story of the homeless man Tedd Willians with the "golden voice"( CNN.com ) show us how one person can change the life of another!
How  long was he in the street? How many people stopped and gave him something? A dollar? A smile? He has a gift, and someone finally found it.  Now he has a house,a job, treatment... and we hope that he truly will overcome his addictions.
How many people, children, teens, adults, are waiting for opportunities,  someone  that might help with a scholarship, a job, a treatment....or maybe just some respect.  Someone that sees past one's appearance to the "golden something" that everyone has and then gives them an opportunity, a friendship, a job,a house, education, treatment to be able to live in our society.
Why doesn't each one of us look at one another with a "hunter's eyes", searching for those who are in need, giving more respect, love , and treating one another by the golden rule: 

"Treat one another as you wish to be treated."

The world is big and there is enough for everyone - the only thing we are missing is what is important, not color, not race, not stature... but that everyone is a human being.   We are brothers and sisters and we need to see each other this way.  If we do we will have abundance, we will be happy, no wars, because we see each other as the same, as sons and daughters of the same God!


Thinking at all tragic events we just know it is absence of love that makes all this tragedy and what people really want. Governments are there for the people not to win elections.
I like the position of  President . Obama when he said "   I have come here tonight as an American who, like all Americans, kneels to pray with you today, and will stand by you tomorrow."
He said " He came as  a American! Someone comment he was doing a "advertising campaign"... if you think for a President where he is, he is in a campaign, if his words are good, someone will say is political, if is bad they will say " look what he said! Do not vote for him again!
His words was "We are grateful",.for the men who tackled the gunman, for petite Patricia Maisch, who wrestled away the killer’s ammunition ,for the doctors and nurses and first responders who worked wonders to heal those who’d been hurt... is this advertising?." So sudden loss causes us to look backward – but it also forces us to look forward, to reflect on the present and the future, on the manner in which we live our lives and nurture our relationships with those who are still with us. We may ask ourselves if we’ve shown enough kindness, generosity, compassion to the people in our lives. Perhaps we may question whether we are doing right by our children, our community, whether our priorities are in order. We recognize our own mortality; we are reminded that in our fleeting time on earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame -– but rather, how well we have loved, and what small part we have played in making the lives of other people better."
This is what I love in our Government when they really look for what  the best to the people, that will bring peace and prosperity!
I hope this tragedy bring back  a Congress who  act as a Americans, who looks what is right not whom  is right, or" if we approve this who will win the next election"  but help all who lives here to have a opportunity to live in piece, to have a job, education, respect, care one another, not approve the use of guns, but approve the use of love and respect!
 As President Obama said  is "about everything from the merits of gun safety laws to the adequacy of our mental health systems. And much of this process, of debating what might be done to prevent such tragedies in the future, is an essential ingredient in our exercise of self-government"